Smackage
by deathskeith
Summary: Everyone wants Ed's ass, how does he react to it?


**I did this one back in the day, lol.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, but will when I rule the world.**

Roy was working overtime today, it seemed like the pile of paperwork was endless. He had actually gotten through half the pile when a knock came to his door.

"Come in..." he said, distracted with his writing.

"Figures, you lazy ass was never on schedule..." a voice sighed, starting to approach him from the door way. Roy looked up and scowled, but the scowl was cut short the second it started. Ed was wearing...those pants. Those lovely pants that showed off that lovely ass. That ass encased in hot, tight, leather. Oh god yes. Roy raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair.

"If being lazy means I get to see you, so be it." He licked his lips, eyes traveling the length of the blond's body. Ed's mouth fell open.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I think Riza hitting you with the butt of her gun is doing damage. No matter how thick your head is." Ed approached the desk and deposited a file on it. "Here, its that gay ass report you had me do. I even did the hand writing all neat. Just like your pampered ass likes."

Pampered ass? I know who's ass I want to pamper all over my desk right now...Roy thought to himself. The mere thought alone causing him to drool. Ed noticed and took a step back.

"Uh...Colonel? What is the matter with you? Your drooling..."

Roy blinked and licked the corner of his mouth. "No I'm not."

"Uh, yeah. You are. You feeling alright? All the paper work is giving you brain damage..."

Roy smirked and held up his hand. Motioning for Ed to come forward. Ed raised an eyebrow and cautiously moved forward.

Oh yeah, show me the money Edward.

Before Ed could react, he was close enough. Roy quickly stood up and leaned across th desk. His hand traveled to the back of his butt.

Whack!

"AAAAHHHH!!!!" Ed screamed bloody murder. "What the fuck?" he yelled, both hands instantly going to his ass and rubbing. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" he bounced around the room, rubbing his sore ass. "My ass! You pervert my ass!"

"I know its a lovely ass. Let me smack it again..." Roy said, starting to move around the desk.

"Hell no! Stay the fuck away from me!" Ed screamed, bolting for the door. He ran out it and disappeared in to the building. Roy shrugged and sat down.

Oh well, there is always tomorrow to look forward to...

Part 2!

Ling hummed happily as he wandered the halls. Today was the day he would make Edward his wife. He hummed happily to himself until he saw Edward coming down the hall. His wife to be looked angry. Both hands were rubbing what appeared to be...his lower back. But closer upon inspection revealed it was his ass he was rubbing.

"Edward! What are you doing? Fall down?" the prince asked, tilting his head.

"My ass is sore! Thats what I'm doing! Damn that Mustang! Smacking my ass like that. What was he thinking..." Ed growled, some of the pain starting to already fade.

Ling was confused. "He smacked...your ass? Your ass...he smacked it?" Ling seemed to be amused. "Just smacked your ass. Just like that?"

Ed was turning red. "What? Do I have to spell it? Yes, he. Smacked. My. Ass. Shitwitt!" Ed scowled at him, rubbing his sore ass harder.

"It couldn't of been that bad. In fact here..." Ling grabbed Ed's shoulders. Turning the boy until his back faced the prince.

Whack!

"AAAAAYYYEEEEEE!!!!!"

Ed jumped and howled. "Asshole!" he screamed, bouncing in place. The prince only smiled and tilted his head.

"Again?" he asked.

Ed went white.

Part 3

Escaping from the prince was harder than he though. His hand was getting close to sore territory. He was literally grabbing his ass as he walked down the hall. Thanking anything mentally that everyone had left for the day.

"Edward? What happen to you?" A voice asked behind him. Ed turned around and scowled.

"My. Ass. Sore..."

"Oh, sorry to hear that chief. Anything I can do?" Havoc asked, giving him a small smile.

Ed shook his head.

"Well, alright. See you tomorrow chief," Havoc said, giving him a light pat on the ass as he walked by. Ed howled and ran down the hall. Havoc raised an eyebrow. "Funny, Fuery didn't mind when I touched him there..."

**END**

**R&R**


End file.
